Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Magic Lost

"Experience comprises illusions lost, rather than wisdom gained"
Joseph Roux

I hate having to grow up. It seems more and more evident now that I have no choice in the matter. Life places you in circumstances where you're forced to either break, bend or grow stronger. Apparently, most times I choose to be stronger.

Nowadays I look back at myself as a person, the people I knew the choices I've made. What I've gained and what I've lost. I look back weeks, months and more often years and see how much differently I react to things now and what was there to react to.

I wouldn't say I'm a different person though. Rather I'd say that I'm who I was before but with more elements added and with ostensibly perpetual construction in progress. My core values have somehow remained the same(I think). I choose a lifestyle which I've seen few others like me also commit to with a similar attitude to life and none like me under the same influences under which I've placed myself.

In that sense I should be proud. And I am, a little. I've stuck to life decisions I've made in my past despite myself. I do have regrets of things done and left undone but regrets I believe I can live with. However, I just don't have that sense of "I'm there" and "I've done it how I wanted to".

I don't believe my world has changed much but my perspective of it on the other hand does change. Every day in fact. Fog clears more with every day I live and grow older. The rays of light from the real world shine through more and are more blinding as each day progresses. I realize more and more that this magical world isn't quite so magical anymore.....

Now Playing:

still young, still so naive, screw you Eve


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