JMLS Part 1: Stone Cold Heart to Rocky Start

Photo by Nattu

"It takes a lot of experience of life to see why some relationships last and others do not. But we do not have to wait for a crisis to get an idea of the future of a particular relationship. Our behavior in every little incidents tells us a great deal."

Eknath Easwaran

My feelings were growing for her, I had to make her mine. I had to convince her. I had to coax her because this feeling I'm feeling must be love or love soon. She doesn't want to take the plunge and admit that 4 letter word though, but I'm sure of what it is or at least what it can become. Even though she hesitates to coin it as a "relationship" and hesitates to say she has a new man,  I know once she does it will be all good. I know I'm not quite what she's looking for but I'm there now and I'm good for her, I just want her to realize that.

photo by Ben Fredericson

Finally she seems to see it my way, she's finally become attached. Ironically almost obsessively so, but she's there, just like I wanted and I'm hooked. She's the all in all, there was no existence before her. Constantly tempted to propose right then and there. I can't see life without her. I'm glad she overcame all those things to be with me. She came around so quickly too, which I decided to mention over dinner.

photo by Ben Fredericson

Maybe that shouldn't have been mentioned though. Not over dinner, not last night. Because she seemed to agree. Maybe she started thinking it shouldn't have happened, maybe that she should have trusted her gut. It's all my fault, I need to stop digging at it, I need to just enjoy life with her. No need to question the good things. All the issues she had and ignored came rushing to her and she puts them on the table. Yet... I do it again.


To be continued...

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